Catégorie : Pilates

Negativity, Toxicity and the Weaponization of Social Media in the Pilates Community

Remember when social media used to be ….fun? Seems like eons ago, right? I’ve been on social media probably  11 years. At first, it was fabulous, reigniting old friendships, forging new ones. I was particularly chuffed to connect with fellow Pilates teachers from around the globe.  Pre-Facebook, I had participated in the now defunct Pilates Connections forum online, but the Pilates Facebook community numbered in the hundreds, then thousands. It was exciting to discuss Pilates 24/7.  I even co-founded my own forum with some friends,  the Pilates Book Review and Discussion Club.  Of course, there were arguments, but the positive largely outweighed the negative.  And disagreements are natural and even healthy.  Listening to and considering viewpoints that differ from our own help us grow as individuals and become more open-minded  and tolerant.  The forums abounded with lively and sometimes hilarious discussions about whether to wear shoes while teaching, best cues for the pelvic floor (“winking the anus”).  We started having Friday questions, a great and fun way to interact with other Pilates  geeks, learn more about the history of Pilates and early forms of physical culture.    There were also technical  and business questions.   The forums were informative and amusing.

The honeymoon phase was unfortunately short-lived.   Lively discussions turned heated, and then venomous.   I learned that there was a classical and contemporary Pilates divide.  People were kicked off of some forums or left of their own volition to create new ones. In this new social media world existed  forums for classical Pilates teachers,  forums for contemporary  teachers, forums for contemporary teachers who wanted to become classical,  forums for people with no particular affiliation.  I realized that each “camp” felt bullied and derided by the others, and that many believed and loudly trumpeted their belief in the superiority of their training. I participated in all of the forums,  choosing to interact with a variety of people instead of isolating myself among teachers who had the same training that I had. Some of the discussions in which I did get involved in were animated, and at times, tense;  but overall, I mostly managed to avoid being sucked into conflict.  I was fairly successful at maintaining friendships with diverse people, although some of them actively disliked each other.  The key was not taking “sides” and recognizing that there were many viewpoints.

During the last few years,  navigating the tricky Pilates waters became increasingly challenging. Facebook had already become  rife with bitter disputes about politics and,  more recently,  subjects relating to the pandemic- masks, vaccination….  Although I used to enjoy the occasional debate (I used to be in the debate and Model UN teams in high school, and am an ex-lawyer),  these arguments were neither productive nor constructive.  I made a personal decision to avoid hot topics on social media and firmly resolved to distance myself from any Pilates disputes. My activity became limited to liking pictures of babies and pets, although I did and still do run a Pilates forum in France where most people tend to get along.  Meanwhile, the  old debates among the Pilates community about what was better, classical or contemporary, raged on and also gave way to new debates along similar lines, but now with “factions”.  Additionally, newer teachers criticized older ones as being out of touch with science, and older teachers derided newer ones as being too far from the source to have anything important to share.  Participants began to weaponize social media not only on Facebook but also on Instagram which initially was a safe haven where people just shared pretty pictures. Now began a new era of name calling and finger pointing and passive-aggressive (and sometimes simply aggressive) Instagram stories.   Social media was officially no longer fun.  The negativity and toxicity within these forums was magnified compared to the “real world “, as hiding behind a screen and trading barbs online is easier than having a meaningful conversation.  This  made the forums a stressful rather than safe and funspace to share. Even a seemingly benign act like « liking » or sharing a post became interpreted as choosing  “sides”. Friendships became alliances.  Dislikes became enemies.  The result was inevitably an acute decline in social media activity.

The decline in social media activity is obviously a result of  multiple factors. Pilates teachers are more worried about staying healthy and keeping their families and  businesses alive during COVID  than participating in petty disputes on social media. But in addition to having less time for digital interaction, there is unquestionably a social media burnout.  It is a shame because we need each other more than ever.   As we are reopening our businesses and trying to recover from a very difficult couple of years and also to integrate online classes into our business models,  it  is increasingly important that members of the Pilates community remain united. Most of us did not get into this business to make a fortune, but rather to help others move and feel better in their bodies. We don’t have time to reopen old wounds or inflict new ones.  It is unhealthy and we should be using our energy and resources to help each other rebuild. 

We need to get back to doing to using our tools and skills to be productive and helpful to our families, our friend, colleagues and students.  You may be asking yourself, “who is this Rebekah person and why is she so self righteous ?” The answer is that I am no one and yet I am  everyone.  I’m not famous nor do I aspire to be famous. I’m just a mother of four kids (and a dog).   I also am a Pilates teacher. My goals are to become the best version of myself as a teacher and a person, to help my students and my fellow teachers if and when I can. Probably your goals are pretty similar. So the next time you find yourself on social media ready to make a great clap-back  or even  encourage or “like” a negative or divisive post,  ask yourself the important questions:  

Who is this helping? 

Is it really  worth it?  

I think you may realize the value in stepping back.  And moving on.  If you think I’m  sticking my head in the sand,   I’m okay with that.  I have plenty of toys in my Pilates sandbox with which to play and hopefully, plenty of pals who want to do the same.  Let’s remember why we became teachers.

Life is short.

Just keep calm and do Pilates.

About the Author

Rebekah is a supremely talented and accomplished human being. In fact, she is so accomplished that to list her myriad accomplishments would take too much time. Suffice it to say that she was voted best all-around in preschool and has saved a ladybug on more than one occasion. She is so nice to animals that she does not even have to be nice to other people. She does not post many pictures on facebook because she does not want others to feel bad about themselves. The word that people use most frequently to describe her is enchanting, although delightful is a close second. She teaches Pilates in her home studio in France (over 200 hours a week), where she is not above making her students do extra teasers if they question her authority or mock her accent. Yes, rumor has it that a few people have apparently dared mock her, but when we went to question them, we couldn’t find them anymore. *note- for those of you who don’t know me, this bio is meant to be humorous and there is no intention to offend animals, ladybugs or humans.

Mea culpa – yesterday, I used (one of) the C words.  Twice.  No, I lied – three times!  What, you gasp, nooooo!?!  YES and…, I’ll do it again.  Classical.  Classical.  Classical.  For those who didn’t hear it the first three times.  Classical.  Really, Rebekah, you’re starting to sound like “one of them”. Um, one of whom?  One of them, an elitist.  Because I describe my teaching as classical?  Exactly.  The terms classical and contemporary Pilates lead to arguments,  fighting and probably, the Apocalypse.  Whoa, slow down there.  How does using the term classical lead to the Apocalypse?  Because when you describe yourself as a classical teacher, you imply that classical is superior to contemporary.  That is wrong and in fact exemplifies all that is wrong in the universe.  Away with these distinctions.  Really? But how will people know what I am teaching? They don’t need to know.  Just say you teach Pilates.  So is all Pilates the same, and is everything Pilates just because someone says it is?  Uhhhhh.  Yes.. I don’t know.  Maybe?

Sound silly?  I am obviously exaggerating, but only slightly.  Some members of the Pilates community recently opined that we should no longer use the terms classical and contemporary.  And the editor of Pilates Style Magazine announced that the magazine would not use them because they fostered negativity, an “‘us v. them’ mentality”, and that eliminating them would make “our Pilates world a better place.”  I disagree.  This is not a revival of the tired classical v. contemporary debate.  It is not “us versus them.”  But all Pilates is not the same and pretending otherwise won’t make it so.   As my friend Maria stated when this subject was discussed on social media, “ everyone uses the term classical music or contemporary music .  There are the classical philosophers and the contemporary ones.  Can we just wake up one day and say music is music and philosophy is philosophy….”  There is not A Pilates style; there are styles, plural.  Classical and contemporary are the two primary styles.

Those who seek to abolish the terms classical and contemporary Pilates claim that the Pilates world will be a better place if we do so.  Is this argument an attempt to couch what is in reality a business decision (sell more magazines, attract more students..)?  Or is it misguided political correctness?  Probably a bit of both, but mainly the latter.  Much as the trend toward excessive political correctness in recent years has taken a nosedive into the realm of the ridiculous, the same phenomena is starting to take root in the Pilates world.  We cannot describe our style or lineage without offending those who do not conform to the definitions we use.  Shall we no longer use any descriptions that others might find exclusive?  In that case, should we even use the term Pilates teacher? Why not movement professional?  Or simply professional so that we don’t offend non-movement professionals.

Another argument espoused by those who want blur the lines is that the term classical Pilates is not universally agreed upon even within the classical Pilates community.  (I do not know if this disagreement exists with the contemporary Pilates world).  This is not false.  There is indeed disagreement as to what is considered classical, particularly as there has been a recent shift toward classical and more teachers are beginning to explore the original work. Some believe that classical Pilates refers exclusively to the Romana lineage; others consider it to include the work of the other elders.  But since when do let the failure to achieve a consensus on a definition lead us to just wipe out the word from our vocabulary? That is intellectual laziness.  Again, drawing a parallel to the word Pilates itself – it appears improbable that the Pilates community will ever agree upon a universal definition of the term Pilates.  That ship arguably sailed in the year 2000*.  Does that mean that we should no longer use the term Pilates?

Will blurring the classical/contemporary lines result in a kinder, gentler Pilates world? I defy someone to produce a shred of evidence that substantiates that theory.  Were we to drop the terms men and women, would gender equality ensue, would the pay gap disappear and would sexual discrimination, harassment and violence cease?  If we no longer used the terms Democrat, Republican, liberal or conservative, would everyone hold hands and sing Kumbayah?  Sure, and unicorns and leprechauns exist too.  That people have different opinions on pretty much everything  is reality, and a healthy one.  Negativity ensues when people are incapable of reasonable discussions to voice their opinions.  The use of the terms classical and contemporary Pilates is not the source of the negativity pervading the Pilates community.  The two styles are different.  It is  futile to pretend that they are not,  or to close our eyes and hope the differences go away or go unnoticed.  Expressing a preference for one or the other is in no way equivalent to belittling those who teach differently.  Admittedly, this behavior (belittling) has unfortunately occurred within both the classical and contemporary communities.  However, and  again I cite my friend Maria who astutely stated, “our Pilates world becoming a better place has nothing to do with classical or contemporary.  It will become a better place when people become better people.”  Let’s direct our energy toward becoming better people and teachers .  (Apologies to all non-teachers and non-people I may offend with these terms).

Finally, I would argue that, in our post-lawsuit era*, when anyone can say they teach Pilates, we need these distinctions more than ever.  This sentiment has been echoed by both classical and contemporary teachers.  As my friend Cathy commented, “this is a slippery slope to dumbing down both/all styles of Pilates.  There needs to be a distinction made for purposes of training, for clients who walk into a studio to know what they are paying for, and to continue to honor the work that was developed by Joseph Pilates and by the First Generation teachers, and by modern  teachers who create exercises based on his work.”  It is both possible and rewarding to be part of a greater Pilates community, while maintaining our classical or contemporary identities and also our unique personal identities. Instead of worrying that we weren’t invited to the cool kids party down the block, let’s make our own party.  Ultimately, it boils down to a choice –   celebrate our shared heritage AND our differences?   Or take offense where there is none meant?  Take pride in our own teaching or censor those who choose to underscore their differences? My choice is made.  I plan to keep using the C words.  What about you?

*October 2000 – the term Pilates was deemed a generic term that could not be trademarked.

About the Author

Rebekah is a supremely talented and accomplished human being. In fact, she is so accomplished that to list her myriad accomplishments would take too much time. Suffice it to say that she was voted best all-around in preschool and has saved a ladybug on more than one occasion. She is so nice to animals that she does not even have to be nice to other people. She does not post many pictures on facebook because she does not want others to feel bad about themselves. The word that people use most frequently to describe her is enchanting, although delightful is a close second. She teaches Pilates in her home studio in France (over 200 hours a week), where she is not above making her students do extra teasers if they question her authority or mock her accent. Yes, rumor has it that a few people have apparently dared mock her, but when we went to question them, we couldn’t find them anymore. *note- for those of you who don’t know me, this bio is meant to be humorous and there is no intention to offend animals, ladybugs or humans.

 

Something caught my eye at the store recently– an aisle with exercise equipment – weights, a Pilates ball (which looks disarmingly like a Swiss ball), and a Pilates Circle.  In France, where exercise is still exotic, this is new and exciting.  Suddenly, Pilates is everywhere.  Skimming through a fitness equipment catalog, I find a Pilates foam roller (which, strangely, looks just like a normal foam roller).   The sporting goods store devotes an entire aisle to “Pilates clothes” (apparently the powers-that-be don’t think people sweat during Pilates because none of it looks sweat-proof).  At the bookstore, I count at least a dozen Pilates books.  On the Internet, I learn of Pop Pilates, Aerolates,  Piloxing,  Piyoga, Yogilates,  Zumbalates, Poolates (my guess is that this has something to do with water and not excrement) and Hot Pilates.  There is a site called pornolates.com and a trademark for sexilates (which lapsed, so it is up for grabs if you are interested).    All the local gyms, vacation resorts, physiotherapists and mid-wives also teach Pilates classes.  It’s raining Pilates!!  But is it really Pilates?  When is it not Pilates?  Enquiring minds want to know.  I want to know.

I don my Jimmy Olsen cap to investigate.  First, what is naked Pilates?  There are a surprising number of videos on the Net.  Please, you are totally going to check it out too.  I find a video with two women who appear to have some Pilates education.   One begins to speak authoritatively about the powerhouse, but then proceeds to say that the pelvic floor, (consisting of the sacrum and the tailbone) must touch the mat.  Um, what?!?  I think that would be cause for alarm as in – Houston, we have a problem!  My pelvic floor is on my Pilates mat, please call an ambulance!  I stopped watching when it became sadly evident that Harrison Ford was not going to make an appearance.  Also, my kids were becoming curious about what I was watching and I doubt they would be convinced that I was doing “research”.  Ten hours later (joke) I am no closer to knowing what is not Pilates and I also don’t know why one would need a knit cap for naked Pilates.  Conclusion – naked Pilates probably isn’t Pilates, but viewers are likely looking for a different sort of “Teaser”.   And “in and up” – well I won’t go there.

Perhaps it is easier to start with the question – what is Pilates?  As a friend put it – is it Pilates just because we say it is or because we want it to be?  Does anything go as it long as it respects the oft-cited “Pilates principles” – centering, control, concentration, breathing, precision and fluidity?  These principles were not defined by Joseph Pilates himself, but by the 1980 Friedman/Eisen book on Pilates and have since been widely adopted. Frequently teachers insist that Joe would be delighted by the changes to his method and would have encouraged teachers to give free rein to their creativity.  Easy to say, but problematic to prove since Joseph is deceased and there is no “Return to Life” after death, as far as we know.

Do teachers really believe that anything goes – “fusion” classes, gym classes, large group reformer classes?  What if the instructor doesn’t know the difference between Joseph Pilates and Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism (as one teacher recounted)? What if the teacher just barks instructions and provides no corrections? What if few or no exercises resemble those in Return to Life, if props like the Bosu, swiss ball or foam roller, which have origins in other methods, are used?  We all laugh when Pilatesology airs parodies with the baby chair on the reformer and the ladder barrel upside down, but that is not that farfetched given what we see on Instagram.  Blaring music?  Concentrating on Sir Mixalot’s fondness for big butts will take our attention away from our own derrière.

Social media is alive with Pilates images, many of them recognizably Pilates, others less so.  Some look useful, others, well…. less useful.  I find myself scratching my head (no, not lice) … is this still Pilates?  At times, the answer is a no-brainer.  Dangerous exercises are clearly not Pilates.  Ever.  End of story.  More often the answer is murky.  And there is a backlash against the so-called Pilates police – any comment that could be perceived as mildly critical is found offensive and its author all but tarred and feathered.  Perhaps we are taking an admirable idea – inclusiveness – too far.  We have no legal standards defining Pilates -should we have no standards at all?

I took the question to a non-classical facebook forum and was surprised to be met with strong opinions on the subject and a clear rejection of the “anything goes”assertion.  Many decried the proliferation of “crapilates”.  But the line between Pilates and Pile-of-shit-ates was unclear.  What makes something Pilates and something else, Poo-lates?  Is it only a question of being safe and functional and following the “principles”?  A good vinyasa or Iyengar yoga class could follow the “principles”.  Can yoga be Pilates?  It does sound silly, but if you consider that any safe movement class that follows the “Pilates principles” is Pilates, then yoga could be Pilates, and even cooking could be Pilates.  A friend of mine suggested that a Pilates class should have a significant number of original Joe exercises.  What is significant?  Ninety?  Fifty?  Twenty?

Many teachers assured me that they harbor the same concerns.  Yet each had a different view of what Pilates isn’t.  Classes that were too slow were not Pilates.  Classes that were too fast were not Pilates.  Adding props like Swiss balls, flexbands or Bosu were not Pilates.  Fusion classes – no.   Too much breath, not enough movement; too much movement, not enough breath.   Too much sweat, not enough correction; too much correction, not enough sweat.  Like Monica on Friends trying to duplicate the chocolate chip cookie recipe, no one could quite pin down the special ingredient that makes Pilates what it is.  Not just the exercises themselves because, as one person noted, a bicep curl could be a simple curl or it could be done in a way that would make it Pilates.  The intention behind the movement is equally important as the movement itself.  Not just the “principles” because other movement methods that are not Pilates may also respect the “principles”.  Not just the equipment because swinging like Tarzan from the trapeze bar does not a Pilates practitioner make.  Not the lack of equipment because Pilates can be done with only a mat.  Some asserted that a Pilates class needs to reference RTL in some way, that the exercises should be traceable back to the originals, that the teacher should, at the very least know who Joseph Pilates was.  Most agreed that a true Pilates teacher needed to undergo a comprehensive and not a weekend program.  And everyone concurred that teachers must respect the integrity of the method, and not merely exploit the name for marketing purposes. One person wrote, “I suspect that what is not Pilates is like porn.  I know it when I see it.”

Social media, however, reminds us daily that many believe that we should be creative with the method.  One teacher wrote that when an experienced teacher truly understands the method, he should feel free to create new exercises.  After all, Joseph both invented and borrowed from others.  True, but he made the method his own and gave it its own name and now it bears his name.  At what point does the creation deviate enough from the original that it should be its own creation?  When grandma no longer recognizes her chocolate cake recipe, it really isn’t still grandma’s chocolate cake.  And she wouldn’t want you to call it that, delectable though it may be.  If it really doesn’t look or act like a duck, maybe it just isn’t a damn duck.  And that’s fine.  It doesn’t need to be a duck.  When a teacher injects enough of his own inventions into the work so that Joe would no longer recognize it, or criticizes Joe’s work as unsafe or primitive, why even bother calling it Pilates? It isn’t Pilates anymore. It is something else.

Some people have argued that no one cares.  That assertion is patently untrue.  SOME people are simply looking for a safe, fun workout and don’t care what it is called.  But many do care and consider it important that the public learn what Pilates is.  They are concerned that non-Pilates classes using the Pilates name either give Pilates a bad reputation because they are, excuse my French, crap, unsafe or misleading.  Contrary to what many say, there is no Pilates police.  I am a not nor do I want to be, a Pilates policeman –this isn’t about me.  But it does matter what the Pilates teaching community promotes as Pilates because that is ultimately what the public will believe.  It is a fact that there is no Pilates trademark – anyway can say that they teach Pilates.  Anyone can also call yoga Pilates.  Legally.  But ethically?

This is a call for reflection –upon our responsibility as teachers to acknowledge and honor the work that went into creating the method, to uphold its integrity, and that of its creator.    Pilates should not be about egos or Instagram likes.  Would Joe have been delighted about the myriad changes to his method that bears his name ?  I am skeptical. Naked Pilates?  Although he DID suggest that one should wear as little as possible to work out, I doubt that he foresaw that naked Pilates would be a thing.

Do not go around policing others or trolling the Internet, but be your own police. Joseph entrusted his method to his teachers, who in turn gifted us with it.  With this gift comes responsibility.  Let us be responsible.  Let us be vigilant against denaturing the method into something that Joe would not recognize.

*special thanks to Patty Turner Mehl for the « porn quote » and the Joseph Smith anecdote.😂😂.

About the Author

Rebekah is a supremely talented and accomplished human being.  In fact, she is so accomplished that to list her myriad accomplishments would take too much time.  Suffice it to say that she was voted best all-around in preschool and has saved a ladybug on more than one occasion. She is so nice to animals that she does not even have to be nice to other people.  She does not post many pictures on facebook because she does not want others to feel bad about themselves.  The word that people use most frequently to describe her is enchanting, although delightful is a close second.   She teaches Pilates in her home studio in France (over 200 hours a week), where she is not above making her students do extra teasers if they question her authority or mock her accent.  Yes, rumor has it that a few people have apparently dared mock her, but when we went to question them, we couldn’t find them anymore.